i've got some news from china.. and really wanted to share this with my close friends.. but when i wanna do so, i realise that there isn't many that i can look for.. everyone seems to be busy with sch, work and their own life..

realise that it mght have been a problem of my own, that i've not contacted my friends for quite some time.. and this is probably wad they call a shell syndrome.. staying at home on my off days.. not going out with friends.. spending time alone..

watched a serial on tv.. this gal suffered from cancer.. and she forced herself to leave the guy she loves because she dun wanna burden him, dun want him to embark on the painful journey with her.. wants him to forget her and find someone who can give him happiness. all these happens because she's not confident that the guy loves her enough to stand by her through thick and thin.. and will still be there for her when she's ill.. wad he said to her really touched me..

"even if i were to lose u one day, i'd have had the most wonderful memories..."

putting myself in her shoe.. i'm really touched.. tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably.. it's weird how i've always imagine myself contracting some weird illness.. and how i'll deal with it.. to tell or not to tell my close friends... how to release the news to my loved one.. whether i'll do the same as wad the gal in the serial did..

anyway.. chatted with michelle earlier today and realise we're both facing similar problems.. really dunno wad i can do for her.. but all i can do is pray for all my close friends, hope they'll get the happiness that they deserve. she shared this song with me... and i'm beginning to like it too.. i'll share with u guys here..

tonight i wanna cry.. by keith urban..

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

(Chorus:)
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

i know that it's been a really long time since i last blogged. and i know it's been a really long time since i last posted pictures.. i really do apologise for the inconsistent updates here..

many things have happened, in work, in sch, in friendship, in relationship, in life.

and i for once, have felt a real disappointment, and i felt that i've grown up to be a understanding gal, and i'm really proud to be one actually.

one may thing i'm crazy, but i like wad i'm doing now and i like who i am for my friends. my family, and my loved one.

recently, days passed without my knowledge... time seem to pass so fast, but yet days are ironically long when i'm alone.

just a post to let all my friends who havent seen or heard from me know that i'm fine, busy with work and studies, and i havent forgotten any one of u at all.

i will update my blog soon, when i have more time to myself...

it's valentine's day today... and i was with a bunch of international people going to and leaving manila for company...

we promised not to take regard of special occasions like christmas or valentine's day, but can't help feeling a bit envious of the couples on the streets...

nevertheless, i look forward to skyping everyday... cos i know that my dear will be there... and it's really a bonus for me...

thus... having a bonus everyday, shouldn't i be happy that i'm spending valentine's day everyday?

i am, and i'm thankful....

shit happens, and i missed the chance to hold him close this month, so i'm looking forward to march. wadever shit that happens out of our control, it really serves as obstacles in our relationship. but after each one, my faith and strength increase.. i hope shit stop happening to me, and may god be kind to me one more time... or maybe many more times pls...

okie... here's the post on the dinner with my ex-CX colleagues...

i think this is by far the gathering that has the most no. of ppl... =) thanks to agnes for hosting us at her place... =)

super big yu sheng!!



HUAT AH!!


and look at the mess... the poor floor also kana.. and ppl's hands too!!





eugene's artistic angle.. hee..



and long long long time no see dory!!




and this is catherine... my senior from poly.. think i haven met her since one and a half yrs ago, on her birthday at her old place.. did some catching up, and watched ... and did a bit of window shopping... except she was suppose to get her bf a gift, but i ended up to be the one getting the gift for my own dear!! haha... but she's still the same... still the same catherine, still as nice... =)



CNY mood is over.. (not like i had any of that)... tmr is the start of classes and training... means assignment to be due.. and more work to be done...



the only thing that i'm looking forward to, is my trip to shanghai next week.. how i wish the stay could be longer... i just miss his presence.. and miss being pampered...

had my first yu sheng of the year... with my 903 gang... last yr's CNY we also had our CNY dinner at this sakae sushi at eastpoint...


i thought the salmon was displayed very nicely...

HUAT AH!!!

TAT MING IN THE HOUSE!!

and the gals went for 'ladies night' at starbucks and got the must-have green tea frap!!

then we realised that samsung is now in trend in our gang... (spot audrey)

and spot the 3 lovely gals.. we thought this reflection thing is damn cool... and we had some fun with it...

TA DA!!

and even this... was interesting... haha...

and there u go... lovely night spent with lovely ppl.. and although i lost 10 bucks to fu at mj during the day, i wasn't really in the lousy mood...

cos had a talk with audrey, shared my story with ailing, tat ming treat me to dinner... and i cleared the issue that was pressing me... thanks to all...

life is vulnerable.. and as such, we dont know when we're going to go, esp in my line... had a bad dream a few days ago... and it made me treasure the moments when i sms my loved ones whenever i reach somewhere safely... and of course i worry whenever my loved ones are away..

random thoughts aside, spent a wonderful time with my ex CX colleagues yesterday... all the catching up, updating each other on each other's life, steamboat and all the laughs... i just totally miss them... i shall post the pictures taken on my next post...

till then, take care my friends...

met up with jingmin just now for movie and chilling session... havent been in contact with my friends for some time, and cooping myself at home will make me think about neg things...

spent the whole day thinking how to start studying.. how to find time to meet my friends.. how to not feel so emo... when will i receive dear's msg.. when will i become stronger..

but out of all the things that i had been thinking about.. none actually was productive. i still dunno how to start motivating myself to study. i still dunno how i can meet all my friends when my schedule is so packed. i still dunno what else i can do besides feeling emo when i'm alone. and i still haven received dear's msg. therefore, i have not become stronger cos of all the above mentioned.

it's 12.12am on 29th jan 2009. and i'm back in my room, with my laptop on my lap, wondering what i should do at this time of the night other than sleeping. becos i've got things on my mind, i cant get to sleep, i feel insecure all of a sudden, i'm meeting dear's parents tmr, i'm worried about my studies all of a sudden and i hate myself for feeling what i'm feeling now.

of course, most of the time i'm the factor to why i'm feeling what i'm feeling, but somehow it's hard to feel otherwise when there's nothing to motivate me to do so.

i've no motivation, morale is down, and the only thing that's keeping me going is probably the faith i have. faith in believing in the choice i've made in life.

it's 12.20am, and i'm still waiting, though i know i'll be waiting in vain. it's okie, probably it's the best time for me to start on my books. and start studying... start diverting my focus on somewhere that will be obviously more productive..

think i better do something about my blog before fungus starts to grow here...


last post ended the year 2008... and so this marks the start of a new year: 2009.


was in hongkong with siaw ling.. with our curry fishball and mango dessert... a must-have in hongkong...

on new year's eve, we made our way to the airport.. going on to san francisco... roads were blocked and so we had to walk a distance to the area where the bus was waiting for us... a nice long walk indeed...

one of the lightings alongs the streets of hongkong, before we were on our way to the 2nd countdown on san francisco.. hee...

this is in san francisco's fishermens wharf... dinner here with my cousin susanna and her family...

don and pricilla, my wonderful nephew and niece...

and this of course is my cousin.. think the last time i came to visit was in feb last year...

that's the phua family... dun u think the gals look alike and the guys look alike??

hoodies!! yeah!

near the harbour... waiting for the fireworks...

check out the crowd...

and it's 12!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! funny thing was.. there wasn't really a countdown... everyone just started cheering when the fireworks came on...

look at them... this is probably wad they call 幸福的感觉... when u are with ur loved ones...

went back to their place... slept till noon... woke up for lunch and mahjong... and this is my nicest set of tiles ever...

yummy meal whipped up by susanna...

don kinda got me hooked up with wii's guitar hero... he's damn pro.

watched tv till late at night... and being a nice aunt, i cooked noodles for them...

found one whole box of indo mie.. dear's fav... and of course mine too now... 2 of them had 3 packs... and we even had fruits after the supper!!

before leaving them, they brought me to this restaurant that sells really nice noodles... almost similar taste to the ones we have in singapore... guess this is where asians will go when they crave for asian food...

back to hongkong... and wanted to try this restaurant.. but it was closed for renovation...

had dinner in this restaurant instead... the signbboard looks fantastic.. but the food... not good at all.

super nice mee mee who finds me amusing... and siaw ling who was pushed to finish up the food..

super duper nice pheng who gave me a good check.. hee..

met jav who just discharged from hospital the afternoon that i met him... together with ailing and zifu and jingmin... linda came and join as soon after... haven't met these guys for quite some time... and it's really nice to just soak myself in the cheery conversation...

met up with my 4850 gang... had dinner at ehub... but ended up in gavin's place in jurong west... cos he has a entertainment room in his place... and decided to check that out..

he has his own karaoke system in the entertainment room.. wii.. and playstation i think.. dvd player.. a hell lot of money invested in this room...

woohoo!! love my self-take picture skill.. hee.. random shot but majority of the ppl were actually looking over too...

found out he has guitar hero too!!! hee...

got everyone to try...

think gav's too stress.. haha.. just joking.. we were at the wii fit.. and he was just trying out one of the yoga position.. cool...

met bel for lunch at the bah kut teh place in keppel... then made our way to marina square for k with audrey...

doesn't it seem like national day to u??

school started... and more stress coming in too... so before everything gets too stressed up for me, i went over to nanjing to get my dose of anti-stress hugs and kisses... hee..

constipated look??

oooookay... i know... i know....

guess wad... had indian food in china!! and the food's really not too bad i must say...

the guardian here is not called guardian.. even the name sounds abit chiong.. haa...

and of course... green tea frap... with my dear's mocha frap... hee..

caught the red cliff 2 here in china... the seats were actually rocking chairs!! hee.. great experience.. and all at half price...

and on the last night there... we cooked dinner for ourselves... curry chicken.. yummy.. and luncheon meat, veg and roti prata.. hee...

pre celebrated dad's birthday on the 23th...

dad reading the birthday card...

one of the few times u see my mom in a non-black top...

first family photo of the year...

our gift to dad...

got him to take a pic with it.. hee..

and the service staff here were actually ex SQ staff?? hee...

and reunion dinner for us at home on the 24th... the second time we used the pot.. first was last year during CNY as well.. hee..

this yr's CNY is almost going to be spent in bombay.. but a gal changed with me.. so i'm gonna be in melbourne for CNY... CNY without visiting is really different... empty and lost feeling... miss the festive atmosphere.. and my grandma's soup.. (she always cook 1 big pot cos she knows i love to drink her soup).. and the longevity bun she always brings back from the temple and steam them for me... i miss my grandma...

and i miss my dear too.. lots and lots..