after putting down the big stone in my heart, i began to open myself up a little... i went out with one of my HM senior, agreed and went out with my batchgal and her friends... one of which is someone she wanna matchmake me to... and later, i'll be going out with a colleague...

on the flight, there were two stewards who were trying on me.. funnily, tryers only try me after the breakup...

feeling all flattered by all the attention i get from guys, i sometimes feel it's probably just becos i'm single that makes me more attractive...

honestly, i thought i'll let loose and give in... but surprisingly, rejection seems to happen more frequently than ever... i thought about it... and came to a conclusion: maybe, just maybe, i'm still not over him.

it's been long.. really long... by now, i confirm there's no one reading this blog anymore... and this blog is gonna be a place i share my emotions... this blog is going to be my friend all over again... the friend that i can talk to everywhere i go, at anytime, and will always be my listening ear.. when i'm happy, and sad...

i've already stop blogging in livejournal... stop blogging about him, stop blogging about my daily feelings about him after the breakup... i guess this time, i've really let it go. this time, i'm not just consoling myself and deceiving myself... this time, i really feel i'm ready to move on...

i do feel relieved... but at the same time, a little lost. it seems as though i've lost my sense of direction in life. i used to still use him as my motivation, and i can still get through life with him in my mind.. now that i'm forcing him out of my mind, it's tough to get going...

never imagine myself to blog here again. but yap. here i am.

this has been a dead blog for so long, i guess no one's reading this anymore.

i'm doing good, with a degree, and an AMORE package, and single.

we've been apart for 319 days as of today, and not in contact. currently, i'm not sad that it's over. i'm just sad that he doesn't contact me anymore, and i lost a friend. i thought only couples who ended the relationship badly will stop all contacts, but why is it so for me?

been doing a lot of self reflection lately, and i realise that no one will pity me even if i continue dwelling on the past. probably took me a little too long to realise that isn't it?

this has been a huge knot in my heart, cos i feel that it has not been totally resolved, since he's not really talking to me. but, i'm really fine. just not as jovial as i was when i was with him. that's all.

时间到了　
感情冻了　
而我　听妳唱歌　
唱著分开也该能快乐
妳的笑我瞭解　
我只是綁住妳的蝴蝶结

让妳走了　
想妳快乐　
Oh No 怎么改了　
我们尽力愛过的情节
每个吻每一天　
愛著妳等著妳想著妳
捨不得这篇

愛情故事

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know

So now I'm all alone,
you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

It's been a long time since you called me
How could you forget about me
You got me feeling crazy
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby

What will it take to make you come back
I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting

u taught me how to love.. who's gonna teach me how to let go..

你说你要飞翔的自由
这不过是一个借口
我也会接受

曾经牵着你的手 还有什么要求
我只要躲在你背后
总有一天 我会成为你最好的朋友
无理取闹也会忍受
心在痛 泪眼倒流

我不懂你的心 还要守到最后
就算爱情厌旧 从指缝溜走 擦破我双手
你不懂我的心
有时候真的好累想不再回头
放开所有
可惜我一直没办法留 却也没办法走

想找一个理由 好让我转身就走
为什么这个时候才发现我愈恨你愈难受

我不懂你的心 还要守到最后
就算拥抱变旧 温度已不够
我一样温柔
你不懂我的心 尝试过一千遍写下很多理由
决定放手
可惜我一直没办法了 却也没办法走

been invited to 08's class gathering.. A whole new set of emotions overwhelmed me... Seeing them united, and even closer after clifton's death.. Seeing them so determined to meet regularly, keeping the 08's spirit up...

I'm honoured to have been invited to be part of this occasion, and to witness one and all.. How friends can actually stay as friends as long as they want to.. And how couples appear to be ever so sweet to others... Really envy this group of people, cos the prime time has past, and I dun think I'll ever get a chance to find a group of friends like them and be part of them...

For once, I felt that I din belong there... I felt that I was spoiling the 'Class' thing... When they played the video, I teared. I've seen this class get together, for birthdays, for chalets, for funeral, for almost everything.

Time just seem to pass too fast.. I realise I haven done a lot of things.. Like have a primary sch friend whose my good friend now, have a group of gals who will stick to one another like the girls in sex in the city.. Like to hang on to things I want instead of letting them slip out of my hand...

All the things I haven done, made me really envy of these people with a smile as they watch the video.. Cos, I suddenly realise I live life once... And time dun turn back for no one.. And I've lost my chance...

But anyway, it's been a night of emotions..

so many songs can describe my feelings... and yet i can describe my feelings using my own words..

probably i'm just loss or words...

after this 3 days off.. i'll be working non-stop for 2 weeks, perth and back, no break, dubai istanbul and back, no break, brisbane and back... then one day break before i'm going off to beijing again...

i guess i haven worked so hard for so long... or i should say, i'm just focusing on doing my projects, studying for exams, and working like no one's business.. yeah.. no one's business..

i was just learning to be contented being ur friend... why do u have to take my only contentment away...

why do u have to take my only happiness away...

u said things are still going to be the same...

why are u changing things... why are u taking my only hope away..

why...

there are so many things i wanna know... but i can't ask them anymore... cos i'm in no position to do so..

i'm in no position to be a creditor for life too... cos i have no debtor..

i'm alone again. sitting away.. watching the days go by... drowning myself with tears..

I’ll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me – MYMP

I hear your taking the town again
Having a good time
With all your good time time friends
I don’t think that you think of me
Your on your own now
And i’m alone and freeI know that i should get on with my life
But a life live without you could never be right

As long as the star shine down from the heaven
As long as the river run to the sea
I’ll never get over you getting over me

I tried to smile so the hurt won’t show
Tell everybody i was glad to see you go
But the tears just won’t go away
Loneliness found me looks like its here to stay

I know that i ought to find someone new
But all i found is my self always thinking of you

As long as the star shine down from the heaven
As long as the river run to the sea
I’ll never get over you getting over me

Oh no matter what i do
Each nights a life time to live through
I can’t go on like this
I need your touch
Your the only one i ever loved

And as long as the star shine down from the heaven
As long as the river run to the sea
I’ll never get over you,getting over,
I’ll never get over you,
I’ll never get over you getting over me…

today .. Marks the end of things... The feeling's just Damn weird.. Cos, it's not ending on a bad note like how it usually does.. And I'm still loving all that I'm doing and all that I've loved..

I dunno how to get used to this new change.. Not the change of absence and presence, but the change of statues, change of lifestyle, change of conversation openings, change of thoughts... One change lead to many, and I'm really not ready for this...

I tried so hard to salvage, but to no avail... I dun have a choice, and I've come to realise rhat that's nothing much I can do about it... How am I suppose to behave and be myself again?? I really wonder..

People say it's just a phase of life.. And I'll get over it with time.. It may be true' but I'm quite certain, the time for me will not be short.. Cos in my heart, the place has already been taken up... Deeply embedded, and almost impossible to get it off my heart..

Dear friends, pls dun ask to much about wad I've shared here.. Cos it's really tough for me to share the process all over again.. Just know, I'll be fine.. But not now... Maybe I will be fine in a month's time or two? I'm not sure..

The tme spent has been a wondeful one, and I will always treasure it... Definitely unforgetable and I just feel very sad about this...

Friends.. Best friends.. Chance? I'm not sure if I'm given one.. Is this the easy way out? does this means I've not been determined and have not perservered enough? I'm not sure too...

I've kinda 'beg' for things to not turn out this way... But I was turned down, turned away, and ultimately rejected..

thinking of u always... This will never change. And I'm certain about it...

Dun forget me ok? Cos i will miss u, and still love u...

Don't Go Away by Oasis

Cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
And as the day was dawning my plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind

I don't wanna be there when you're ...
Coming down
I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground

So dont go away, say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day ... In the time of my life
Cos I need more time, yes I need more time just to make things right

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I can't find the words to say
With all the things caught in my mind

Me and you whats going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


hmm... quite true... not totally... but majority...