Thursday, October 06, 2005

dad's back!! and i've cleared one thing on my to do list.. which is to have a family meal.. had dinner on tuesday evening at one of the coffeshop near my house.. had one of my favourite fishhead steamboat.. love the soup..

last fri was quite an experience at the SATS catering centre.. being part of the WINERS team.. haha.. and standing in our heels from 6pm to 1am.. gosh.. and also first time taking instructions from angmohs.. can see a lot of lost faces on my fellow schoolmates' face.. haha.. there were a few hiccups here and there.. sending in the wines too early.. having plates smashed on the floor.. (oops.., but it's not me.. ) but love the experience..

we got a new group of sub com joining us in the IG.. and i believe the IG will be more lively than before cos of the 3 Ss.. haha.. had dinner on sat with these 3Ss, and a few others at MS waraku.. love the atmosphere.. with the right ppl to lift the mood up..

on my way to the 2nd phase of learning driving.. which is taking the final theory paper.. i passed my basic theory paper and spent some more money on my provisional driving license.. sigh.. i've nv felt so desperate for money before.. still looking for job.. but thanks to vanessa for introducing that job to me.. love ya..

life seem to be filled with things that keep me busy all the time.. without any time for me to think about anything else that will pull my mood down.. i hope that this will continue, and hopefully the pain in my heart will slowly die off unknowingly..

i'm trying to be like Su Yi.. look at things the optimistic side, and being so open in giving up the guy she likes but thinks they are not meant to be.. and hopefully i can do it.. however for me, i have to open up, to accept things the way it should be..

Saturday, September 24, 2005

had quite a tiring day walking the streets of orchard today with xueyun... plus, i woke up early today to attend this briefing in RI regarding my brother's subject selection.. as it ended early, i walked around junction 8 for close to 2 hours before making my way to somerset..

actually i had to work in the afternoon today.. but due to the last min notice of the briefing.. i was not allowed to change shift with sky but to give my shift to him.. sad.. lost a chance to make more money..

well, sad things aside.. we went to have lunch at this place where all the staff look like they just came out of jail and are very polite.. and the food is not bad and is considered cheap!! 5 bucks for a pasta meal inclusive of a soup, watermelon and salad.. haha.. went to shop at OG Orchard Point and got myself the largest polo tee from giordano junior.. and it fits me!! haha... tried on this skirt from OP... but too bad last piece and it's dirty.. so i'm still trying to look for the skirt elsewhere... shopped there for close to 2 hours.. then went over to specialist centre.. then over to hereen..

at hereen.. guess who i spotted??!! weichoong and derrick from project superstar!! weichoong was wearing this black hat with a white towel wrapped under the hat.. i spotted the hat first on 4th level.. then saw the hat again on 5th level.. so i took an extra look.. then he walked past me quite closely as it was crowded.. then i said to xueyun: "that's weichoong leh!! that's weichoong.." and i din realise that the people around me started to look at the direction that i was looking at.. haha.. then turn out that derrick who is rather short was with weichoong all along and i din notice him until a while later.. haha.. then we pretend to be looking at things in 77th street.. and they were behind us, trying out cap.. haha.. damn funny...

after hereen next stop was takashimaya.. then wisma.. it has really been a long time since i last walked and window shop so much and so long... the last time i guess was with wanshi after prelims... memories..

guess i found a friend that share some similarities with me.. same shoe size.. same waist size.. same taste..

read a book at polular today.. it's called betty and veronica best friends forever... u know.. the archie comics... ya.. that betty and veronica.. in that book, they mentioned that it's good to have more than one best friend.. when u fall out with one, there's always another one to seek for consolence.. and also, u can be have a friend to talk to, but she might not be the one that u can go out with as interest differs.. i guess it's the advantage of having more than one close friend.. and i'm lucky i got 3..

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

the bbq at downtown east was quite an enjoyable one.. was kinda awkward at first.. cos i forgot most of their names... oops.. haha.. so i went up to the room.. and there, i felt more relaxed with juana around.. haha.. we watched the jap show . then the stupid variety show by the jack neo family then the erie 9pm show.. and lastly.. the incredible incredible tales.. waha..

enjoyed all the chat we had on the bed.. next to the bbq pit.. haha.. all thanks to the 'show' put up by fook ping, xavier and peilin.. haha.. somehow, the world is so small.. ariel is wanshi's cousin, juana is nelson's sister.. guess it's fate that i was this class's SL... i'm actually quite surprised that my friendship with juana and fook ping is like as if i've known them for a long time... hmm...

i have thought through a couple of things these few days.. and i have come up with a conclusion: to take things in my stride...

Monday, September 19, 2005

as usual, there's bound to be biaseness in a family.. in terms of the present u get for your birthday, or the kind of remarks u get from ur family.. it kinda becomes a part and parcel of life that it's so hard for me not to let it blend into my life..

stayed overnight at xueyun's place on saturday night with ailing.. suppose to take ting's car to harbourfront for terry fox run together on sunday.. but the lazy bum didn't want to go last min and so just ailing and i took a cab down to ting's place early morning.. while on the expressway ting's mom was talking about rain and the next min, the rain came pouring down.. and it din stop full till after the event.. was caught in the rain while walking to the beach carpark.. it was kinda chaotic and i was forced to do things that i din want to do.. hmm.. well.. it's over.. wad can i say.. just that i dun like ppl to assume things.. something that i always tell nicholas about..

met shaidah at parkway after terry fox yesterday.. had a long talk about that has happened lately.. well, guess so much things has changed that it's kinda hard to believe right??

it always happen to me huh.. raining just when i am about to go for work or when i'm on my way.. the latter is worse, esp when i nv bring umbrella.. and it happened to me today.. so, i ran in the rain and caught a flu.. plus the rain encounter i had yesterday.. i had a hard time controlling my sneeze while working.. lucky it didn't last too long.. and i'm well again!! yeah..

going for a bbq cum class gathering of 1H10 later.. i was their SL during the week zero orientation and kinda touched that they still remember me till now.. well, nelson's sister is in that class plus that cheeky class rep.. it's kinda hard for me to forget them either.. but kinda guilty.. cos forgot some of their names le.. oops.. it's very heart-warming when they crowd over me when they see me during movies under the stars.. when i saw them at terry fox run briefing.. kinda feel like their mother. haha.. they also say that..

things come and go.. so do friends.. but i certainly hope things will be the same as in the past.. i will reflect.. i hope u will too..

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

is it the current lifestyle, my lifestyle or is it just me? i've been having aches all over my body, be it backaches, headaches or shoulder aches... guess i'm just not used to work after resting for 2 weeks.. plus at the rate waraku's business is picking up, i guess i'll need to visit the gym one day..

had my first jap lesson with mich on sunday.. kinda thought that i will regret signing up for this course cos i thought it might be just an action on impulse, but after the lesson i can guarantee that it is really out of interest... although it was a make up lesson i can tell that people who sign up for this lesson is really just purely out of interest and some, a necessity.. however i feel that some might that it as a competition, and it goes back to my previous post where i mention about not liking people that are competitive..

then there was the huge rainpour yesterday, that came just as i was about to step out of my house for work.. although i brought along an umbrella that was super big.. (something that i wun carry normally..) i was wet almost from head to toe by the time i reached the bus stop.. the rain plus the wind literally blow me away, with the attacks of the rain and thunder, i was a little worried.. at that very moment, i thought it would be great to have someone to go through this with me..

well, back to the rain, i saw this lady who got a super small foldable umbrella and the shelter part got blown till it goes the reverse way.. and i was like laughing silently.. cos she was in the middle of the road, with a lot of groceries, and trying to adjust the umbrella back to its original shape, until she din notice that her umbrella was not sheltering her... haha... and i told my mom about it and she told me about an umbrella joke that she know of when she was still in the working industry.. can ask me about the joke if u wanna know.. =)

and then today i went to sign up for driving basic theory test.. kinda went there blur, not knowing wad's the procedure and all.. lucky for this nice lady who gave me advice and all, and now, i'm on my way to my first step to driving a car!! yeah!! din tell many people about it cos i din wanna make it like a big thing and i would rather have some things to myself.. so please understand that i wun wanna talk about my driving lessons or test, unless i started the topic.. ya..

some people might think that it might be a bit too much for me.. to learn jap and driving at the same time.. so just to let u guys know, i'm fine with it as i have interest in both, and also, it gives me a chance to prove myself.. i dun wanna be seen as someone who always score bad grades, or at least grades that are always worse than some of u, neither do i want to have nothing to be proud of in life..

when i was in P6, i was awarded the "Friend of Singa" Award... and improved from position 23rd to 3rd for my prelims... nothing bragging here as these awards are like nothing now.. but just wanna say that.. that seems to be the last time i was proud of myself.. so now that i've grown to be more optimistic, i wanna achieve something in life, so that when i leave the world, i can proudly say that: hey, i did these..

looking at me, people might think that i have good friends, close friends, good family background.. i must be contented.. i cannot say that i am not because i really feel lucky to have known these close friends.. but somehow somewhere in everyone's heart, there's always a something that u want, and to me.. i am not contented with my life, i'm not happy with my life.. looking at the currently standard of living, it's hard to find someone who is contented.. but for me, i dun go for materialistic goods, but more of relationships.. friendship, kinship, BGR..

i am not a nice person from the first impression.. after knowing me, i am more open and more sociable than expected.. it's easy to be friends with me.. and it's easy for me to condemn u too.. wad i look for in a friend is personality.. i dun like it when u have to compete for something or u have motives for doing things to hurt me.. if i ever find out that there are such people around me.. dun be surprise if i just drop u out of my friends list.. it's a matter of integrity..

"..the worst enemies are the ones that are closest to you.. "this is wad my mother tells me from young..

Saturday, September 10, 2005

exams are finally over.. finally.. this is the first time i felt so relax, yet so worried over exams.. and by the time i reach marketing paper, i literally blanked out.. again.. but oh well, at least i gain something out of this whole tensed period..

i told melvin i was stress over exams, he got glen and organised a k session.. i can be so ever weak, but i would prefer to project myself as a person anyone can rely on.. i guess when people say that they'll be there for someone, they just sad it at that moment to make the person feel better.. but, the person who accept the assurance will remember it forever.. looking back at my previous post, my sms-es, that person who said will stand by me, will care for me, will always be there for me is no longer here..

there goes a friend, but here come another one.. so is this wad they mean by friends come and go?? chatted with this friend 2 days ago, using webcam.. haven seen this friend for a long time, and i am guilty of something.. guilty towards this friend.. regardless of how i feel, i hope for u to be happy and well, and i am very happy to hear from u..

was clearing my table and i came across 3 letters... one from vanessa, one from yixiu and one from wanshi.. brings back memories.. nice to know that there are people who actually takes the effort to write letter to me.. to sustain the friendship even though we are seperated by the lifestyle of our own..

even though it was exam week.. i spent some time chatting on the phone... esp. with ailing and xueyun.. actually is to ask about the things that we were studying for the exams.. but somehow it ended to be a chat.. and it always happen that the 2 of them will call me one after another, and end up with a conference call.. haha.. but it feels good to be able to help them in their work.. although the satisfaction of completing the exam is low.. but being able to help them seems to make up for the satisfaction..


I'll be there for you
Bon Jovi

I guess this time you''re really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love in suicide
You say you''re cried a thousand rivers
And now you''re swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won''t save me anymore
Now I''m praying to God you''ll give me one more chance, girl
I''ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I''ll be there for you
I''d live and I''d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can''t say what a love can do
I''ll be there for you
I know you know we''re had some good times
How they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can''t buy back yesterday
And Baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I''ll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drink, I''ll be the wine
I''ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I''ll be there for you
I''d live and I''d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can''t say what a love can do
I''ll be there for you
And I wan''t there when you were happy
I wasn''t there when you were down
I didn''t mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I''d seen you blow those candles out
I''ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I''ll be there for you
I''d live and I''d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can''t say what a love can do
I''ll be there for you

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


two papers down, two more to go.. CRS is a real killer subject... interesting to study, but bad for exams.. there were just too many things to remember and it drives xueyun, meiqi and i crazy.. haaha... but accounting to me was quite fine.. or it was so i believe..

2 more days and we are into our holidays, beginning of my new course, and i'm gonna take up driving lessons.. suddenly had the drive to learn more things.. learn new language, learn skill. maybe this is considered a start to a change towards my life's perspective.. i used to think.. why study so much, why know so much.. when u are dying, all effort will be wasted.. but now, i want to upgrade myself, so that i can use my skills to help ppl.. i learn driving so that i can drive ppl around, i learn new language so that i can help tourist to translate.. i make a point to understand what i'm studying for exam, so that i can teach my friends.. whereas in the past, i study for exams is just mainly to fulfil my mom's expectation of me..

perhaps is those kind of mentality and immaturity that was in me in the past, where i do things purposely to anger my parents, going against them.. however, i'm glad that i did not go overboard and still manage to be in a state that i'm happy to be in now.. the immaturity is gone, but going against them.. not yet..

wad really is friendship?? i like to be with friends that are there to help you and pull you up when u are down, make you happy when you are sad.. but sadly, there are those that are competitive.. comparing every possible things that they can.. before u do, pls think of other's feelings.. cos this kind of competition will actually make me disappointed in you..

looking at my sister, i feel jealous. she has friends that she can always rely on no matter wad, do things together, and stand by each other even from sec and jc.. i long for one.. i envy the kind of lifestyle that she's has, i envy the kind of friends that she has.. in the past, all these envy made me hate her.. hate her for having things that i do not have.. but now, i try to work towards my goals, aiming to achieve wadeva that she has, wadeva that she does, so that we wil have a common topic to talk about.. i guess this would be my greatest regret in life.. ever...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

time really flies.. in just a short time, i'm coming to the end of the semester, closing the days of exams.. just thinking back brings wonderful memories..

the time we met in TP after the long break, getting ready to make our way to TAS.. the first step into TAS.. the very first class i attended (accounting lecture), the very first time ate at fare and square, the very first time i went to the different toilets, the first time i bathe in TAS, the first time i got my new TAS pass... all the first times.. and all seems like a familiar routine to me..

i'll definitely miss working at the service side of the restaurant, wearing formal once a week to sch, to sentosa.. miss the lecturers and tutors that has been so patient and understanding towards us.. thank you all.. not forgeting my classmates!! 2H01!!

back to updates. all interviews, projects, all over.. finally. i know i won't score well, perhaps it's just in my blood.. i guess i'll just have to work super hard for my paper to pull up my marks.. thinking of that makes me really stress.. ma and pa has been asking about my studies recently, and i really dunno how to ans. the guesses that they made demoralised me.. am i that bad a child in their eyes? i know i've deproved quite a bit since primary sch, but i've done all that i can. i dun mean to disappoint them, i dun mean to make them upset. it's just not within my ability to do so. i've tried and i'll keep trying.. i will..

went to Mr Damien Sullivan's place for a function last sat. not to attend, but to work. serving about 30 pax of majority Australians, it was a great eye opener for me. Mr Sullivan was quite a gentleman, offering us a guest room for us to change!! and the bed is just comfy, the place is just huge and i had mich to share this excitement and joy with me!! we were suppose to serve red wine, white wine, champagne and beer, and the job of course includes opening the bottles. had so much fun practising the opening of the wine bottles and my first try at opening champagne was quite a successful one.. yeah.. had "dunch" and supper with mich and her mum at joo chiat ba ku teh as well as newton food centre respectively.. thanks mich's mum for the treat!! how nice to have a mother that can talk to you like a friend.. and even joke with you.. hmm..

proficiency test was great.. made a couple of mistakes, but i'm quite confident.. practical i dun have much problem.. but when it comes to written work.. i guess that's where my confidence level fall.. hopefully my determination can help me to focus more and that my brain cells can co-operate and improve on my memory..

dad's back to indo.. and i din manage to say bye before he left.. so sad.. so many sad news coming at one time.. cousin attempted suicide, mom's friend got cancer, dad's friend got cancer 3rd stage..

life.. so brittle.. some wants to die but can't, others want to live but can't.. so should be learn to cherish life?? if life is so full of uncertainty, why keep hopes so high when it can disappoint u anytime? the place that we all are living in is called, confusion...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

saw olinda choo at parkway parade today!! she was painting the stupid thing outside isetan, with her blue highlighted hair, and her slim figure!! so jealous.. but, her big head just dun fit in right..

had lunch at RITS with mich and ailing today.. food was cooked by some 'big shot' chef, so suppose to be nice, but too bad din fit into typical Singaporean's taste.. haha..

this week is so full of interviews and presentations and peer appraisal.. lucky for me, i only got CRS interview left. bad for me, i haven started studying for it yet!!

on sat i'm gonna be working in a place full of ang mohs.. haha.. all thanks to the lobang by my boss aka godfather aka bf.. haha.. i think it's quite funny..

this week i feel like a mother... waking my brother up every morning, getting him dinner every night, rushing him to go to bed, urging him to go study.. hmm.. but i kinda like this kinda lifestyle, with all the freedom we can have, but still know our limits.. tml, hell is coming back.. help me!!

Friday, August 05, 2005

finally.. Club Resort Spa Business project is over!! today was really project rushing day in the morning.. went to TAS to do my Apel reflection, hand in my portfolio, do last minute touch-up for the Service Skill project... in the process of doing these projects.. there were disagreements, arguements, displeasure against one another.. but it's all over.. now, it's just presentation and AppRes project left...

had a great afternoon k-ing today.. went to chinatown k-ster with mich and her friends.. and my BOSS.. haha.. johnathan joined in when we were into our last hour of singing.. first time there.. quite nice.. although khaki was a bit weird.. but i enjoyed singing my heart out.. and just realised that i always cannot hear myself when singing with mich.. cos we sound the same!! no wonder we are in the same band.. (S.H.E).. haha...

not feeling well.. therefore got sky to take over my shift for today.. then accompanied mich to TPJC band concert.. a bit weird cos first time i wear so lok-kok to a concert.. then so last min.. plus, i was in a choir.. dun really know much about band music.. however, mistakes were easily identified and i kept myself awake during the concert by obverving the actions of the people playing the tong-tong thing.. haha.. forgot wad it is called... and thanks to mich, i got myself another match-maker... nice to meet mich's friend too...

headache coming back.. and i'm not a person who will see doctors.. so, i really appreciate mich, for getting me medicine for my fever.. really touched when she passed me the pills, and making sure i take them.. love ya..

a big load of my back.. but kinda get used to the not-sleeping lifestyle le.. hmm.. that's bad right? dunno how to sleep now.. becoming a zombie.. well, at least i'm still in the right mind..

niwae, yesterday i took the bus out of sentosa with tat ming.. not very close to him but having conversation with him and knowing he's beside me just gives me a very heart-warming feeling.. like.. someone of close relation is close to me, giving me a sense of security.. i know he'll be there for me when i need him.. i know..

today, i've learnt the value of friendship.. thanks mich..

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

yes.. this is my class for this semester.. every sem, there's a different kind of bond within the class.. first sem, close like glue.. always hanging around with each other, shopping for blazers together.. wonderful feeling.. second sem, everyone just indulge in their own project groups, rushing projects, i think i already forgot who was my classmate for that semester.. this sem, although we dunno majority of each other, but as time goes by, everyone seem to be able to bond with each other.. cracking jokes, helping each other with our work, going k-box together.. the feeling is great, but first sem is still the best.

in about another month's time, we are all going to be splited up again.. it's good that i can make more friends, but then friendship with others will fade.. feeling kinda emotional..

desiree and sky has been together secretly for close to one month.. and to think the 4 of us dunno about it.. not even audrey.. feeling happy for them, but sad at the same time.. it's not like i'm jealous of them, i'm just feeling empty in me.. cos everyone around me seem to be having a partner.. and i'm feeling lonely.. i wun seek, i'll only wait.

went touring around sentosa with yixiu and her boyfriend yesterday... they came down to RITS for lunch, then i took them to images of singapore to tour, and we took the cable car out of sentosa.. nice experience, to relax after so much stress from work, and also to join them as they have fun riding the cable car and getting scared by the figures in the images of singapore. but then somehow i felt like i was a super big lightbulb..

there's just so much that i can do, but ppl seem to put me under the everything-also-can-do catagory.. and sometimes i feel flattered, but sometimes i feel bullied..

and then i want to ask everyone a qn, again: am i really that fierce?? yixiu boyfriend say yes. my colleagues say yes. wadeva it is, i am really trying to change.. change my 'fierceness'. well, if i really change, then i think u guys can prepare for a new huiyi.

Friday, July 29, 2005

i only realise that my school work is getting from bad to worse.. i'm at a loss.. i dunno wad i can do to pull myself up.. my mood, my studies, my personal life. including my family..

project dateline is getting close.. and i'm getting real stress.. and it's not helping that there are 24 hours in a day.. and that i only sleep less than 4 hours a day..

however stress and tied up i am, there's always a time for fun right? so that's where the updates come in..

karin's birthday party.. lots of ppl.. lots of nice food.. lots of alcoholic drinks.. and we enjoyed.. in the dark..

went for the ZPOP concert with ailing and eileen.. all thanks to my aunt for sponsoring the tix.. which is actually complimentary for her cos her company is the one of the sponsors.. vanessa also went with her friends.. but at the front of the stage.. in the end we managed to sneak into the front area too.. all thanks to vanessa...

dad came back for 1 week.. and i was really happy.. had a family dinner at parkway parade, where we used to eat the steamboat together as a family in the past.. and i actually apent 10 bucks to rush down for the dinner.. the taxi driver gave me discount.. yeah...

then he fetched me home from work.. and bought some noodles for supper for me.. so nice right.. love him so much...

had an outing with my colleagues from waraku and kelvin.. went to palawan beach to play on a sunday.. and the sun wasn't strong.. but i still got burnt.. quite badly actually.. skin still peeling now.. =( but i really had fun.. swimming in the water.. and the stupid thing is that i knew i was going to the beach but i din bring towel, or extra clothes. nothing.. went to work wet.. haha..

fun aside.. it's time to get on with business.. i seem to have a failing body.. getting aches and pains all over.. feeling tired easily.. not having the drive to do work.. that's bad..

worse of all.. i'm having migrain and i have a really strong feeling that all these pains and dizziness i'm getting now will lead to a super serious bad breakdown of my body in the near future.. when that day comes.. just ignore me..

my sis went for lasik operation yesterday.. was so worried for her that i wasn't concentrating when mr lee was giving his lecture... but glad that everything went well.. sigh.. another thing to be jealous but yet happy at the same time.. cos i have a pretty sister.. something to be proud of.. =)

i'm kinda getting used to the lifestyle now.. travelling to TAS to study.. then rush to work.. then rush for projects at night till wee hours in the morning.. then back to TAS again.. and the cycle runs.. not that i'm complaining.. but just thinking back.. the time when i so strongly said i want to join HTM.... when i thought i chose the wrong course on the first day of orientation.. but come to think of it.. because of friends i have now, i dun regret my decision.. and it's a good thing: cos i dun usually regret doing the things i did..

the sem is coming to an end soon.. i'll buck up.. i really will.. try...

Friday, July 01, 2005

first day of the month.. doesn't seem like a good start..

boring lecture.. lonely 2 hrs spent.. boring tutorial.. and for the first time in my studies in sentosa that i actually reach home before the sun sets... kinda weird feeling though..

so soon, next week is term test.. but lucky for us we only have one paper..

think this semester i'm a little more bad tempered than the last 2 sems... and this semester i get tired out rather easily.. think i'm getting old very fast.. or maybe i'm down with some illness that i dunno.. haha..

a lot of things has happened over these few days.. good and bad.. but looking from an optimistic view, there should be more good than bad things...

tml i'm gonna be the 'waitress of the day' for the sjcc challenge thing.. feels like i'm having RITS on a sat.. haha.. just me, jeanette and myself.. looking forward though.. think it's gonna be a fun day...

once again... really really.. thank god for ailing and mich to stand by me all the while.. *muack*

the feeling of making fun of ppl is back.. haha.. esp gavin... =p

Monday, June 27, 2005

has been feeling kinda moody these few days.. but i think the problem just lies with me.. this is one problem other people find it hard to face: accepting their faults. well, at least i plucked up enough courage to admit my fault. kudos to me.

i feel that i'm always around when the conversation does not involve me.. hate the feeling cos i always dunno how to react to these kinda situations.. within a week, it has happen twice.. when i ask, nothing is said.. to people out there, in future if u do not want me to know about anything, please do not talk about it in front of me..

i can be a fun person to talk to. i can be a fun person to make fun of. but please know ur limits.. it's kinda hurting to me when sensitive words hit me straight in the face even though i know that it's meant to be a joke.

i thought i found my friends and all to fill my life.. but recently, all seem to slowly go with the wind and drift away from me.. real slow.. at work, in sch, at home.. everywhere... i seem to have lost the bond i have with almost everyone..

no one understands what i mean, no one understands how i feel..

it's ok. i'm still me. no change. i'll keep on trying..

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

yap.. i know.. i haven been blogging much...

thanks to mich, nelson, rozy and kai for celebrating my 18th birthday with me...

thanks to audrey, chris and sky from waraku for getting me the lovely cakes and presents.. ans also the pleasant surprise.. thanks..

then there was the balloon hat festival.. thanks mich and ailing for the fun that we had making balloon hats till we got our hands and tired out..

had a couple of shopping session with ailing and mich.. to get a formal bag, court shoes, belt, blouse.. enjoyed the company..

also the RITS session that i have every monday.. honoured that mr neo and mr joseph thinks i'm skilled in service skill.. all thanks to the training i have from waraku.. opening bottle of wine.. setting of tables, clearing of dishes, serving.. making mocktails and cocktails.. interesting.. but from next week for 4 weeks i'll be attached to the Images of Singapore.. kinda looking forward to it though..

got called by kai to be one of the part time actress for 'i not stupid 2'. and wad do we do all morning?? jumping about, catching imaginary money.. ...

watched mr and mrs smith today with my brother.. nice show.. cool and style..

lots of things has been happening.. so much that i've difficulty handling them.. not just heart matters, but also family and projects.. all these are unavoidable.. but i seem to be able to do nothing about it.. i mean.. not within my means to decide..

wadeva it is.. i'll just stick to being myself.. like it or not.. this is me.

gonna be home alone tml..