On the way to Taipei, on the train from Kaohsiung… it’s been a month full of ups and downs… but fulfilling at the same time.. I feel like I can really let go of things, move on, and start afresh all over again. I’m sure that’s wad my friends have been looking forward to, especially those who are genuinely concern about me.

Where shall I start… maybe from the Beijing trip… I met a famous Singaporean guitarist/ songwriter/ producer/ song arranger. He’s Eric 黄韵仁… he was in Beijing playing for Wakin 周华健’s china tour concert, and Beijing happens to be his first stop… and our paths crossed. Together with him was martin, the drummer, and with me was Joni, who used to be a Malaysian Idol contestant. In one way or another, Eric gave me the inspiration to do what I’ve always wanted to do: learn a musical instrument… and I did. I took up guitar lessons from Tobias. He was shocked to hear from me and surprised that I was anxious to learn it fast. I’m sure Eric was a great motivation, but there was something else that pushed me to do so, something that I can’t explain.

I was also more active at gym. I got my couz’s personal trainer to guide me at gym, and through him, I found myself pushing myself to the limit, and really working out till I sweat. One point to note: I NEVER have droplets of sweat dripping from my head ever before, but under his supervision, I did. I realize I could actually do things I never thought I could. And it was a real sense of achievement. Same goes for the guitar learning. My brother lend me his ‘antique’ classical guitar, and he guided me along as I tried to play a few songs. Cool.

I became happier, happier with myself, happier with my life, and learn to enjoy the little perks of life more. I became more appreciative of things and people around me, particularly the things that happen in my life.

People say things happen for a reason, and I really begin to understand that. Why I was with Nicholas, why we broke up, why I had to go through the heart-breaking breakup process, why I met Eric, why I pick up guitar, why I begin working out, why I’m where I am now. With an open heart, I smile when I know I’m fortunate enough to be travelling, to meet people like Eric, to know how to sing, to be able to do things I never thought I can.

I begin looking at life in a better and happier perspective. I begin to think less of negative stuff, if not, not think about them at all. I used to think: I’m not a good friend, that’s why people around me dun stay with me. But now, I start to think: I am who I am, conscious clear, and people will be friend with me if they want to. I’m not afraid of having little friends, cos I know I can survive on my own, and there are still people whom I can count on.

Music is really a powerful tool. Whenever and wherever I go, I have to have music. It brightens up my mood when I’m down, and even when the playlist is on emo songs, I’ll smile and immerse myself in the melody.

And that’s what I’ll do, smile. Cos things do happen for a reason.