Third post of the year, and this time w a lot more emotions and thoughts in my mind.
I just got back from a yoga retreat, something which I never thought I'll ever do in my life. I was never a person who was involved in sports, and all of a sudden gym, watching diet and all come into place. At first I believe it was just s self conscious act, not wanting to look bigger than I already am. But after this yoga retreat, something hit me. I begin to realize that keeping fit and all, not only works the body, but the mind as well. It's taxing on the body and mind for this whole retreat, it was so powerful that I was actually getting emotional and fighting to hold my tears back when I couldn't get the pose right. And it wasn't the pain that was causing the welling up in my eyes, but the fight between my mind and body, one wanting to just give up and another fighting to keep me going. I'm just so glad that my mind won the fight, and made me a stronger person now, physically and mentally.
There was a part of the retreat when we had a group sharing session. Everyone picks a piece of paper from a bag, each containing a negative word and we are suppose to share our experience or thoughts about the word that we got. And my word was HATE. The moment i saw the word, my tears just flow uncontrollably. I hated myself for the longest time. Hated myself for being born in a family where I didn't feel appreciated when I was younger, hated myself for who I am because of how people judge me, hated myself for being me. But I guess over time, i learn how to overcome it by being appreciative. Appreciate life as it is, appreciate the people around me, appreciate the things that I experience, and appreciate myself for being the independent, strong me that I can be.
Maybe it doesn't matter if no ones seems to understands me. Or maybe it doesn't matter if no one seems to appreciate me. Maybe it's ok to feel lonely at times. Maybe it's not so sad after all. And maybe all I need is some encouragement and a hug along the way to give me that little push in my life, to know that everything will be ok, everything will be fine.
I just got back from a yoga retreat, something which I never thought I'll ever do in my life. I was never a person who was involved in sports, and all of a sudden gym, watching diet and all come into place. At first I believe it was just s self conscious act, not wanting to look bigger than I already am. But after this yoga retreat, something hit me. I begin to realize that keeping fit and all, not only works the body, but the mind as well. It's taxing on the body and mind for this whole retreat, it was so powerful that I was actually getting emotional and fighting to hold my tears back when I couldn't get the pose right. And it wasn't the pain that was causing the welling up in my eyes, but the fight between my mind and body, one wanting to just give up and another fighting to keep me going. I'm just so glad that my mind won the fight, and made me a stronger person now, physically and mentally.
There was a part of the retreat when we had a group sharing session. Everyone picks a piece of paper from a bag, each containing a negative word and we are suppose to share our experience or thoughts about the word that we got. And my word was HATE. The moment i saw the word, my tears just flow uncontrollably. I hated myself for the longest time. Hated myself for being born in a family where I didn't feel appreciated when I was younger, hated myself for who I am because of how people judge me, hated myself for being me. But I guess over time, i learn how to overcome it by being appreciative. Appreciate life as it is, appreciate the people around me, appreciate the things that I experience, and appreciate myself for being the independent, strong me that I can be.
Maybe it doesn't matter if no ones seems to understands me. Or maybe it doesn't matter if no one seems to appreciate me. Maybe it's ok to feel lonely at times. Maybe it's not so sad after all. And maybe all I need is some encouragement and a hug along the way to give me that little push in my life, to know that everything will be ok, everything will be fine.