"就是这种无所谓对自己很随便的态度，才会让别人把自己很随便的给糟蹋掉，变成一个可有可无的朋友."

one of my friend said that to me.. and i wonder: is it really me? being easy on the things i eat, the things i wear, the things we do... main aim is just to please the majority.. it's not that i dun have a mind of my own, i just want to please everybody..

oh well, no point trying to explain why i'm easy with things right? if my friends are my friends, they'll accept me for who i am.

went to watch a movie tonight w ah jo... really thankful for her company... movie has never really been my thing... until i met my first bf... he loves to watch movies.. and the channel is almost always tuned to HBO or star movie when he's in china.. and in sg, he'll always pull me along to watch movies.. then slowly, i began to love watching movie. i began to love the feeling of being in the dark, cos no one can see u cry, no one will care if u have something on ur face, no one will scrutinize u...

then, after the breakup, i lost touch w the movie world. i lock myself in my little world, retreat to my little shell.. and was there till i met someone who inspired me.

and then i begin to start watching movie again with this special friend. and the feeling came back. the comfortable, warm feeling of having someone u are used to sitting next to u in the cinema.. until this special friend begin to drift away, just like many other friends of mine.

slowly but surely, i seem to be falling back into my little world, my little shell... thank god for the few friends who are still standing by me.. for the few friends who still cares.