i guess music is really a tool that brings one's mood to the extreme.. u can be super high w music, and yet be super emo too.. and for me, emo always seems to supersede the other extreme.

the song i submitted for competition didn't get into finals.. as expected. and somehow, with that failure, everything else doesn't seem to be going smoothly for me too.. i mean, i'm happy enough that my song got into semi finals, considering the fact that i'm really new to all this song writing stuff.. and i'm really happy some of my friends are there to support me and give me the encouragement before, during and after the competition. something someone with super low self-esteem like me needs badly.

just when i thought things are changing for the better, i realise it may not be what i expected it to be.. i have found my passion in music, learning more about song writing with my song writer friends and self learning guitar.. the self satisfaction when i finish writing a song, filling in the lyrics, singing it over and over again to myself, in front of the mirror, singing it to my friends, getting their comments on my song.. the whole process is just so self satisfying.. and so fulfilling.

but, nothing is perfect, particularly life. just when i thought i found a friend who may be the inspiration of my life, which he still is, somehow it just seems like all direct connections are lost, and i'm left hanging on my own again. i lost the enthusiasm i had when i first got inspired by him, and i lost the drive to do things.

it's just sad that friends come and go in ur life, and u will never which are the friends that will stay with u forever in life. some of them might be people that u just brush pass everyday, or dun like at the very first sight, or may be really close for the first 6 months of ur friendship.. nevertheless, i always believe in treating ur friends wholeheartedly. i go all out for my friends, not knowing if they will be the ones that will stay as my friends forever, but i'll rather do my best in maintaining the friendship than risking the chance of losing them as a life long friend.

friends forever, people always say. but, does it really happen? i wonder.