accept fate, accept fact.

disappointed.

i'll still do my best.

dun worry. i'm fine.

really. i hope.

finally, i'm feeling well enough to sit up and use the computer again..

the topic of the post:

HOSPITALITY AND TOURISM MANAGEMENT DINNER AND DANCE AY04/05

for the first time in my life i had curls for my hair.. and i so cannot get used to it.. mich says it looks good on me.. but perhaps it's on ME that's why i dun feel the same way...

from the viewing of the place, to the setting up, to the preparation of the reception area, to the welcoming of the guests... my mind was going through a mixture of feelings... think the staff and managers of carlton dun like me already.. although i am part of the admin and finance comm, i sure did try to help out in wadever areas that i can.. and for some reasons.. i ended up going onto the stage for 2 times... as for the details of wad actually happens... can ask me when u see me... glad that the guests were accomodating and understanding... and for once, nelson actually look good that night!! well, so did others.. =)

went to the coffee club at somerset and slacked till 3 plus before mich and i walked barefooted to the kopitiam, together with nelson and shaidah.. mich got so many disgusting blisters on her leg... and lucky we manage to get slippers at the 7-eleven at around 3.45 in the morning!! then we bought a tub of ice cream and try to imagine that we are eating swensen's earthquake... off we go to the airport when we spotted the first bus past us and slept at the slide at the playground.. comfy...

reached home at 10 plus.. but din get to rest at all... as my mom thought i stayed at the hotel room the whole night and had gotten my rest for the night.. she sent to me my grandma's house and my auntie's house to get something for her from them.. and after i return.. waraku called.. and off i went for work.. till late at night... reached home at 12 plus.. and guess wad.. i haven slept for 43hrs since wed morning..

the puky feeling comes on and off at times.. but i feel that.. wad is disturbing me is not my sickness but my heart..

i think i'm a bad host... well, that might be because i wasn't feeling well myself... so sorry to u guys who turn up for my chalet... hope it helps to give urself a time to slack and just relax...

all thanks to mich for reminding me to bring my mini mahjong.. i think jasmine got kinda hooked up with it.. hahah... and thanks to jasmine, i found a place to buy 2 shawls for 10 bucks and thanks to shaidah for lending me her guitar cover to match the shawl.. hahah...

woke up today with a spiltting headache.. and a super sore sore throat... still went to eat mac breakfast.. and the penalty for that was.. bearing with the want-to-puke feeling all the way home, and ended up puking just as i step out of the lift, just a few steps to my doorsteps. lucky i was already prepared with an empty plastic bag and didn't dirty the place... although i'm feeling better now then i've puked out the uncomfortable feeling, i still feel feverish and all aching all over my body... super super strong feeling that i'm gonna be sick again... and very scared tml i cannot make it for the DnD...

well, i'm so superly looking forward to the DnD tml... really.. so i'll try and eat wadeva medicine that will make me feel better and make myself well by tml... things are still kinda vague.. dunno wad i'll be doing.. but.. =)

it just brightens up my day when people i know visit the place i'm working in. although they may be there to settle their meal, i always like to deceive myself and believe that they are here to show they appreciate my presence on earth. weird kinda thinking, but that's one of the ways to keep me going: to feel appreciated.

just entered waraku and saw mr yong, my sec sch assistant choir conductor. and then there's VS's choir conductor mr kwei, so i guess ms lim (my choir conductor) will be coming too.. really felt so excited to see her. although we didn't chat much, i feel good. only through her that i know that SYF has started, and i heard from her today was good..

and last thursday avril and her friends came to eat, and so coincidentally, both group of ppl sat in the same room..

went shopping for the d&d gifts with rosell and jasmine.. kinda worried that i wun fit into their conversations and i'll be kinda out of place with them at first... but i actually feel comfortable, and thank you both for trying to get my involved in watever u guys are doing or saying.. getting me excited over meatballs... =)

she said to me: everything that happens, it's all a matter of perspective. well, guess i need to work doubly hard to change my perspective of life.. also, being confident and cheerful makes one attractive.. is that true? if so, now i know why everything turns out this way...

and today, really enjoyed the jokes cracked while fagan, mich, jasmine, nick, rosell and i painted the gifts.. it's really a nice feeling to be able to work as a team, and i'm beginning to feel more into the family again, just when the main com is leaving.. gavin appeared in a funny and cute character.. i guess today is one of those hard-to-forget days... really hard to forget...

so full of mixed feelings today.. gotta take some time to sort it out..