Wad a day.. has been trying to fill each and every available free time for the past few days to take me away from thinking about troubling matters.. and so, I bury myself in work, driving, bus work, jap.. etc..

And so.. I passed my jap.. congrats to me.. I'm able to move on to elementary 2.. wow.. great progress right..

And so.. I had my first driving practical lesson yesterday.. as wad everyone would say, the feeling of being behind the wheels is great.. and fun of course.. I believed I can do well.. until today..

Is me or just me.. my left leg seem to be super stiff when driving.. so is my right leg but better than the left.. I dun dare to step too much.. maybe becos if my past knee injury.. or maybe it's just b'cos I'm too nervous..

Felt really lousy about it.. with my mom going on and on about wad I should take note and all, I silently tear as my mom was fetching me back to work from CDC.. for ur info, I went for lesson during my break while working.. ya..

My brother got his results for his papers back.. all As, except English B… but overall is an A.. when my mom praised him, I wanted very much to just walk away.. it seem like I'll nv be able to get that kind of praise from her..

My mind is all mixed up with different kinds of things going on in there.. I'm trying to let things go the way it should be naturally… but somehow I just can't help thinking if I made the wrong decision…

Went for a haircut with ailing on fri.. thin it.. and shortened my fringe.. my head feels so much lighter.. and maybe most of the troubles have is lightened too.. it might be me consoling myself.. but who cares.. it's me..

I would nv have expected myself to come to this stage of my life.. where I'll be doing lots of things.. spending time enriching myself, enriching my life.. but then again.. wad am I doing all these for? Who am I doing all this for… I dun even know the ans myself..

Chaos, my friend..

so filled with emotions these few days.. went to be bus jie jie again on sat, fetching korean kids.. so cute!! and they are so talkative.. gosh.. can ask me to show u the pics if u see me in person!! haha..

then went to my mom's eldest sister house to visit her husband, which is also my uncle.. he got a stroke not long ago but he seems to be getting better.. it was his birthday and relatives from my mom's side all gathered at his house to celebrate for him.. only the left side of his body is able to move... he can make noises like 'ah' and 'huh', but other than that, his words are all slurred.. but from his eyes, i could tell that he still knows wad's going on around him.. when he held my hand, his eyes started to fill with tears.. seeing him like that, my eyes begin to water too.. he can walk with the help of his walking stick, he can eat by himself, and he cried a no. of times, but i guess it's all because he's touched..

he tried to tell me about his therapies.. and i figured he said something about the fierce therapists and then he started to cry.. feel so sad for him..

anyway, i bought the full house vcd!! watching the last episode, felt so blessed for the two of them.. after so much obstacles, so much.. they finally are together.. cried so much man.. my brother said i can use up a whole box of tissue watching the whole set.. haha.. say so much, he also got cry lo... but it's really touching..

had mac for breakfast yesterday... saw on advertisement.. and asked my brother if he wants.. haha.. but i think my mom took money from my wallet to pay.. =( nvm.. at least i get to eat SME meal!! yeah..

when will it ever happen to me?

din really do much these days, except to work and work and work.. but other than work.. there are of course some leisure time...

i spent the whole of tuesday's late afternoon with ailing.. chatting about the things that happened, and also the things that are going to happen.. haha.. saw the price of the full house vcd.. and it's only 34.90!! although it's 'only', but i still gotta save for it.. hmm.. money..

spent almost the whole day with my mom yesterday.. went to take a look at the newly set-up bus service company that she has.. woke up early in the morning and went to find the bus driver.. then off we went to fetch the kindergarten kids.. so cute!! gosh.. and they all has this angmoh english accent.. cos most of them are mixed blood.. and they kept calling me!! at least they din call me auntie.. haha..

there was this gal called ciara who lived in Nassim Park, and it reminded me of the monopoly game that i played during the retreat.. and that place really is wad it is worth... there are so many ambassies around there like the jap ambassy.. haha.. although i dun own the place ( in the game of monopoly), i get to visit the place!! yeah!

my job was actually to sit with the kids at the back of the bus and help them up and down the bus, and also to help fasten their seatbelts.. at least i din scare any kids this time... all of them are looking forward to seeing me again soon!! hhaha.. looks like the change in mood really can change a person.. and i learn to understand the passion that my mom has towards this business now.. =)

i'm still looking forward to school reopen, and see if there's any changes in the people in TAS, as well as the members in my class..

finally, back with more updates.. haha..

busy working, trying to earn more money to pay for my driving lessons.. draining me out man.. then there's the IG retreat..

went home after work to pack my bag.. and within 25 mins, i got my bag packed, bathed and got out of my house to wait for the bus.. reached the bus stop just in time to board it.. but mich hasn't reached her bus stop yet.. so i had to miss the bus and take the next next bus which is 20 mins later... in the end took the bus with mich and crystal to pasir ris and chiong to buy drinks and brush for the butter then rush to catch the 6.15pm shuttle bus to aloha loyang..

waited... waited.. waited...

in the end, we took a cab in.. and the stupid driver said he know but actually he dunno.. the ALOHA LOYANG sign so big he still nv see and continue to drive straight.. until i had to like tell him off like.. wth... he said he dunno where's costa sands also.. then how he become driver man.. well, in the end we realised that crystal got the wrong time from vanessa and the time of the shuttle bus is suppose to be 6.45pm.. hhaha..

changed into some comfy clothes before joining the guys at the bbq pit.. was busy bbq-ing for people, until when everyone was watching tv (except sam and shawn), then we increase the power of the fire and then i got to eat all the nice food!! haha.. stingray with sambal chilli.. heavenly.. went to swim at around 9 plus after the pool is closed, and got chased out of the pool at around ten plus.. went back and then not long after, gavin came.. yeah.. with british vodka.. drank a bit.. and avril got all red.. so did crystal.. lu-anne was high too.. haha.. playing monopoly and laughing at gavin's orange tee.. haha.. chatted on the phone with ailing.. haha.. at least she accompanied me thru the lonely night as i was kinda bored.. so much to update each other although it has only been a short while since we last met each other..

went back to my room and chatted with avril and crystal and shawn.. and sam joined us a while later to hide from the crazy group of people outsied.. namely: michelle, gavin, vanessa and lu-anne.. i think jean was happily sleeping away.. haha..

the next day avril and i rented bike and rode out to white sands ntuc to grab some apples.. haha.. in the end we bought apples and grapes and chips more.. and got the canadian pizza gal to look after our bike for us.. then when riding back, we didn't watch out for cars.. riding back as fast as we could.. haha.. damn funny.. then went to play monopoly with sam and vanessa while lu-anne, shawn, gavin and avril went to sleep.. yes.. it was mid afternoon.. and i had lots of houses and money!! yeah!! hhaha.. we only cooked lunch at around 4 plus.. after eating.. it was meeting time.. sam, vanessa and jean left in the evening.. sad.. only got 2 sub com left.. but nevertheless, we still had fun, with boon kiat joining us in the late afternoon.. yeah..

ordered mac for dinner and then watched amazing race while avril, gavin and i played hopscotch.. bring back childhood memories huh.. played monopoly with crystal, gavin and boon kiat.. with lu-anne playing songs with shawn's speaker.. haha.. then it got boring and we played heart attack then played tai tee.. got kinda boring too.. so we decided to go to the pool!! swam for a while.. thinking about lots of things.. then went to talk to lu-anne.. she isn't as bad as everyone thought she will be afterall, told her something that very little know about me.. haha.. well, although it was a short chat, i seem to know her a lot better.. went back.. and nic called.. another person to accompany thru the lonely night..

checking out time.. everyone was so slow.. including the staff.. that we missed out bus out, except for boon and mich... in the end gavin, crystal and i met them at tampines BK then went for K-lunch.. it was like a main com bonding session and i really enjoyed myself.. not forgetting the full-of-emotion singing with boon kiat.. haaha.. yeah..

well, all i can say it that i really enjoyed myself a lot.. those IG members who were not there, too bad, you missed out all the fun.. kinda disappointed that the turnout was as such, but well, they lose out, not us, right?? ;P

dad's back!! and i've cleared one thing on my to do list.. which is to have a family meal.. had dinner on tuesday evening at one of the coffeshop near my house.. had one of my favourite fishhead steamboat.. love the soup..

last fri was quite an experience at the SATS catering centre.. being part of the WINERS team.. haha.. and standing in our heels from 6pm to 1am.. gosh.. and also first time taking instructions from angmohs.. can see a lot of lost faces on my fellow schoolmates' face.. haha.. there were a few hiccups here and there.. sending in the wines too early.. having plates smashed on the floor.. (oops.., but it's not me.. ) but love the experience..

we got a new group of sub com joining us in the IG.. and i believe the IG will be more lively than before cos of the 3 Ss.. haha.. had dinner on sat with these 3Ss, and a few others at MS waraku.. love the atmosphere.. with the right ppl to lift the mood up..

on my way to the 2nd phase of learning driving.. which is taking the final theory paper.. i passed my basic theory paper and spent some more money on my provisional driving license.. sigh.. i've nv felt so desperate for money before.. still looking for job.. but thanks to vanessa for introducing that job to me.. love ya..

life seem to be filled with things that keep me busy all the time.. without any time for me to think about anything else that will pull my mood down.. i hope that this will continue, and hopefully the pain in my heart will slowly die off unknowingly..

i'm trying to be like Su Yi.. look at things the optimistic side, and being so open in giving up the guy she likes but thinks they are not meant to be.. and hopefully i can do it.. however for me, i have to open up, to accept things the way it should be..