It's been almost 2 months since I last blogged. That flight that I mentioned, all went well. I was blessed. And the interview that I went, I passed it. After 8.5yrs, im finally gonna embark onto the next phase of this job.

Some says it's good, some says it's bad. Always pros and cons to everything,  but I guess it's all about perception, and what u are after in life. It's gonna be a new challenge for me, as higher rank comes with more responsibilities. Though some may say it's just a job, clear conscious is still of utmost importance to me.

Recently I've been spending more time chatting with my BFF. I dunno if he's already recovered from that heartbreaking moment, but I hope at least my company can help soothe things a little bit.

Sometimes we all take things for granted, especially when people are nice to you and you are on the receiving end. I feel nice being taken care of, but yet I dunno how to show that I appreciate all the effort. I for sure did not and am not taking him for granted. He is important to me, for he is someone who knows me more than myself.

And sometimes,  people may not know wad they really want, and get confused with wad their next action should be. But sometimes, not doing anything may be the best thing to do, until they are certain of wad they want.

It's been a while since I have trouble sleeping. It's 4am and I had 3 beer, and I'm up now, sharing my thoughts here, and it's a little disturbing not knowing wad I'm thinking about.

Maybe tomorrow will bring the light to me, when the sun shines on me. 

it's already mid july. went to tibet in june with my family, and met up with my brother there... it was an experience and eye opener that i will never forget. Tibet has never been a choice of travel destination for me, not until my brother suggested it. somehow the culture and the religious people there tames my heart and soothes the mind. 

after 10 days away from home, it's back to reality again. work, eat, drink, sleep. my brother left for amsterdam end of jun. it was the start of his summer 'tour' cum exchange studies in europe. i hope he felt the support that i've given him so far.

i had my interview for my promotion last mon. i dun wanna think about how i fare or how the interviewers think of me. i dun wanna have a bigger disappointed, just like last yr. i can only hope for the best. 

i msged N's mom on her birthday. she only replied a few days later, cos she only just on her phone then. but it was nice to know that she's still good, and still remembers me.

coincidentally, i dreamt of N last night. dreamt that we bumped into each other at a shopping centre, and we sat down for a coffee. in btw there were a few incidents that got me laughing in my dreams. but wad does it mean? wad is my dream trying to tell me? guess i will never know, but time will tell. 

i am so not looking forward to go to work next mon, the man i detest will be in my team. thank god for my leader, who made plans for us to not be pair together. hope that few days will be smooth sailing.

have faith. that's wad i tell myself. 

end of my first assignment... two days of standing for 6 hours straight, with smiles on my face, not know if it's real or fake. clearly not as easy as it seems. first day was tougher, as i didnt know wad to expect. but today was a lot better. i guess the standing part and non stop talking was tiring, but wad makes it tougher is being in the eyes of the public, having every move and inch watched by people around me.

it was a pleasant surprise to be able to work hand in hand w amanda. finally, after 8 years, we are working together again. have always been in the same company, but never a chance to work together. remind me of the good old cx days.

wad was comforting, was that liyan came to visit on the first day, and alvin came today after his flight. touched. sometimes, just little actions from my close ones can bring some warmth to me.

however much tired i am, it has been really a great experience, being able to represent the company, be the face of the icon, and i guess that is the satisfaction from this. these two days i meet lots of people of different races and nationality. it is just different from those that i meet at work. these ppl are planning for holidays, while those i encounter at work are on a holiday. the excitement of the kids, the negativity of some of them, some amazed w wad we have to offer... all the different reaction to this, just proves that everyone has their own background, different people comes from all walks of life.

hoping i will be given more of such opportunities... for more and bigger exposure, for better things, or person, to come my way. 

At this very moment, T should be Getting ready to fetch his bride. Out of all the guys I've dated, 3 are married. Out of the 3, think T is the one that Really got me thinking, why isn't the bride me. Not that I have deep feelings for him, But more of being compatible in terms of character, that allow us to be each other's companion. I think Maybe That's more important for me at this stage of my life, finding the guy whom I dun hate, who loves me enough for me to live the rest of my life With. 

Till the moment before He left his house to fetch his bride, He was still chatting w me... when I'm all the way in Frankfurt. I Dunno if what I'm feeling is right, But I guess It's gonna be a 心中的遗憾 for him. He doesn't seem to be excited about his wedding, nor does He seem to be looking forward to this need phase of life w his wife to be. 

Frankfurt Really is a place that brings back a lot of memory. When I was dating N, we Skype all day and msg each other all day.... smiles on my face, basking in his love. When I'm dating T, He changed his duty to come to Frankfurt w me.. we went to Heidelberg for a day's trip... it was So refreshing, having someone close to me on my work trip. And now I'm in Frankfurt, reminiscing the good times w him, while He's in Singapore, Getting married. 

Irony of life isn't it. But all is good. I'm Happy for him. And for me. loneliness reset, But It's not something I'm not used to Anyway. 

祝你幸福。

It was Really Quite a quiet birthday for me this year. No big gatherings w cakes and candles, or loud singing and clapping to the Happy birthday song. The only big one was from peien, her custom made cake for me. Must have been my luck to have her as a friend.

This month has been good. Flights, and crew, and pax. Even friends. You know, sometimes Wad get to you is the kind of friends who piss u off or upset you. I didn't get that from anyone this month.

Some good news, I'm the top 1% of the group in terms of work performance, which is a huge achievement for me. on top of that, I'm asked to do special task by the company, Which I feel, is an honour. Some may feel It's extra work which can be quite superficial, But to me, it's a sign that I'm being noticed, and That's Wad I've been working towards to this coming year for the promotion. Of course I'm going to prepare for this leap With an Open mind, and not expecting too much from it.

Good things will come the way of those who think positively. True that? I believe and Hope it does. 

a few more days to my 28th birthday. honestly speaking, birthday is just another day to me now. there isn't really much to look forward to, except all the gatherings that seem to all happen within the birthday month. really appreciate all who still make the effort to remember my birthday, and to celebrate with me.

i've been inactive on my blog for a year or so. this past yr, has been kind of a emotional rollercoaster ride for me. went for my promotion interview, didn't get it. met a guy whom i thought may be the one for me, didn't get him either. went to myanmar for a volunteer trip, went to sydney for a family trip, brought my mom to frankfurt to meet my brother.

this year, i haven't achieved anything yet. i'm still single, the guy i used to date is getting married next week, the guy i met last yr whom i thought i may have a chance with, is getting married next month.

guess the only good thing i can think of, was that my first love got back in touch with me. i was really surprised to receive his msg, and that he wanna catch up. all these years, we have never really been in contact except for that one time when i bumped into him in brisbane. my friends all ask, any chance of reconciliation? i guess, at this point of time, i'm just happy to have him back in my life, even as a friend.

and currently a very important friend of mine is going through relationship problems... just hope he will be strong and tide through this.