in brisbane now.. can u imagine.. i touched down last night.. at local time about 9 plus.. reach hotel 10 plus.. went out to makan till 12 plus.. slept at 2 plus.. woke up at 10 plus.. went out for makan at 12 plus.. shopped around the place will 4 plus.. and now i'm back in the hotel.. blogging. i think this shows how boring my life can be. such a short flt but i still have time to blog here. haha.

even in brisbane, i'm still doing fbma stuff.. haha.. sending emails.. wanted to chiong and go gold coast early in the morning and come back just in time for pickup to the airport at night.. but, no khaki.. imagine going gold coast alone, taking the rides alone.. taking pics alone (not that i dun do that).. feeling high alone.. like so sad life right? i dun wanna pity myself when i'm there, so rather just walk around the hotel alone. at least walking around alone seems more normal rather than going to the amusement park alone.

i love the surfer shops here.. the music in the shop.. the things and the ppl there.. lifted my mood really. i think music is really my life. haha.

was chatting with karin just now and she mentioned, all my friends are waiting for me to come back to singapore.. and i was thinking, maybe not all. i know there are ppl who really treat me as a friend, and will really be happy for me when i share good things with them, and will be sad with me when things goes wrong. but then there are some that are just keeping in contact for the sake of keeping in contact. i dun really know who these ppl are, but my sixth sense tells me there are ppl like that around me and i dun like that feeling. have been doing a lot of self reflection ever since the 1st sec of 2008 started ticking. and sad to say, the problem probably lies with me.

i'm stubborn, strong-headed, stern, bad-tempered, and many more bad points that my friends would probably know better than me. have been trying to change, but i can't see the results of my effort yet. in my opinion, i depend on my friends for a living. not money wise, but the company. so i thought to myself, if i dun change myself, i'll probably scare all my friends away and be left alone, even when i'm back in singapore. i think i had a dream bout it, that's why all these thoughts came about. i'm trying, friends. really.

sometimes i get so frustrated with myself, i'll just shut up. universally, keeping quiet may means consent, means in agreement, means no comments, means submitting. guess that will help to make others happier ba.

to all my friends concerned bout me, i'm fine. just sharing some thoughts. as long as i'm where i am now, i have to and will stay strong to overcome all ups and downs. guess i've been too dependant on one person, that without this person around me, i feel lost and not know wad to do or who to look for. but dun worry, as i say, i'll survive.

going back tonight, and returning early morning tmr. looking forward to my home. take care my friends. ta.