updates on the week..
wednesday: ivp road race championship... went as event official again, with cynthia and siok.. and got touched by 53 guys and 38 gals.. haha.. cos i was the postion judge, which was suppose to give the no. tags to them when they come back... and my right hand was scratched.. pulled.. tagged.. and polluted with 91 different sweat... lolx.. siok and cyn kept avoiding touching my hand.. but in the end still can't run away from it.. haha..
thursday: realised that tmtpt dateline is pushed back to next friday.. so a heavy load of my back.. dun have to rush for it.. then went to watch liza practise for track till 9 plus.. nice wind.. i like the atmosphere there.. perhaps i'll study there at night one of these days.. so soothing.. so relaxing.. so refreshing.. saw my pri sch friend, jeremy, and he asked for my no, using samuel as an excuse.. stupid..
friday: grace, JP and alvin lau went to ecp.. i'm so envious.. not jealous.. just envious.. envious of them being able to enjoy themselves.. while i'm pulled back.. that i cannot relax.. that i keep worrying about things.. that my life sucks.. got no travel geog.. so waited for the IG investiture to start from 3-5... reflected bout my life during that period of time.. what's happening? i'm sinking into a depression state.. a state where i feel no drive in my life.. a state where i'm back to where i started.. investiture was bad.. the HTMIG sub-com had no seats to sit for all.. only 7 seats available.. all of them wanted to leave.. only i wanted to stay.. then the rest stayed becos of me.. felt so bad.. i wanted to watch the main com get their cert.. i wanted to be there for them.. but i indirectly made the whole sub-com joined me.. sort of unwillingly.. shit me.. went for dinner with some of the HTMIG ppl and shaun chong.. cliqued quite well with yixiu.. laughing all the way throughout the whole night.. laughing at every small details... like i said during the HTMIG interview... i laugh out loud to relieve stress.. but when i laughed yesterday.. i was actually laughing at myself.. for trying so hard to fit into everything.. trying to make everyone like me.. trying to make everything work out well.. trying... had dinner at tampines BK and took a bus home with shaun..
sat: work.. trying to make myself busy all the time.. running in and out of the storeroom.. doing everything that i can do.. trying to not get any chance for me to stop and think about anything... i need life... God, save me..