after 17 years of celebrating chinese new year, i think i can come to a conclusion: boring. it's the same procedure every year, doing the same thing, trying to be as poise, people trying to compare with each other behind their smile.. wad a hypocrite world.

i have a lot of things to do.. but i just dunno where to start from or when to set my mind to focus on the things that needs to be done.

my wishlist from very long time ago: LAPTOP. this is one thing that i've been yearning for, telling my mom about it to make her get the hint.although i offered to pay it all by myself thru instalment, it was still a no. i'm not trying to be greedy or anything, but i want to have a sense of belongingness. my whole room, practically less than 1/2 the things are mine. even the things i bring to sch, wear to sch... most of them are not mine.. somehow this might be the reason why i feel inferior to people. even people who seem less well off than me and said they wanna get something that's quite ex already got them all..

jealousy comes in again. it's funny how this word can actually spoil the friendship between people.