in a few hours time i'll be off to amsterdam.. going to a place that i've been before.. at least i know where to roam there.. and plus i'll be going with gayna's batchgal.. i found a khaki.. that's the yeah part..

the boo part, of course like always, leaving the family and my friends. you wouldn't want to hear me going on about how i am dragging myself to work everytime and how much i'll miss everyone..

my mom said something to me this morning.. "why you look so shag and down after u start flying??" i was like dumbfounded.. i mean.. wad can i say.. i gave her that "sigh..." look.. and i believe she knows wad i mean by that.. but at least she realise that i'm not really happy where i am now, just trying really damn bloody hard to make the best out of things.. trying to convince myself that the perks of the allowance and off days are keeping me going.. but then again, i'm really not a materialistic gal and i believe in 'hard work will pay off in due time'..

my close friends know bout my situation now.. but i long to share my feelings with my family members as well.. but having the support of my friends, i guess i should consider myself fortunate enough to have known these ppl.. not asking for too much, just a someone to be there to understand me..

wanna stop working then study.. now like now... then get a job that will make me feel happier living.. by the time i finish my studies if i follow my plan now.. should be in time to join the industry again with the ns guys.. well... guess looking at the current situation, my family will be the first to object to me quitting.. dun even dare to raise the matter la. damn it.

my flt to ams will not be a smooth sailing one i think.. flying with one of the top ten.. man.. kana from her yesterday already.. bad sign. thinks she dun like my face. damn. damn. damn.

ta.