i'm feeling so confused.. i should have known.. he looked so uncomfortable yesterday.. he said he got headache... no wonder he came home early yesterday... he wasn't feeling well, but he still gotta try to smile to her friends.. still gotta fetch us around..

seeing him lay on the hospital bed, my heart just melted.. i couldn't even say much before i even broke down.. but of course not in front of him.. i hide.. hide my tears away from him.. for close to 5 mins.. i can't keep my tears from flowing... why.. what has happened to the strong and fit him that has always been in my heart..

dancing with the IG members and the mentors today is the happiest moment i have throughout this whole holidays... it's really nice to have so many people around me... even though we are not close and all.. even though i still feel lonely most of the time...

at this moment, i dun feel like doing anything.. dun feel like asking for anything.. all i ask for is for him to get well soon... i want him to be the same him a few years ago... i want him the way he was when he brought be to malaysia.. when he brought me to swim... i want to have a meal with my family.. that's all i'm asking for now... nvm if i dun have nice clothes.. nvm if i dun have money.. nvm if i dun get to have materialistic things... i just want to have friends and my family with me... that's all... is it too much to ask for??