i just realized, it's like.. de javu... last month, it was LA that i suddenly felt extremely insecure (probably due to PMS), and thereafter i did an auckland flight when i started to notice something was wrong...

this month, i did a LA flight too.. and here i am in auckland after the LA flight. except that this time, the feeling of insecurity is gone. instead, i am feeling a lot at ease. why? i dunno. maybe sometimes, u gotta lose something before u learn how to treasure it.. maybe sometimes, wad u lose is wad u actually wanna treasure most. and maybe sometimes, letting go of something can make u realize that that's the one thing u really wanna hold on to...

of course, there's always the other side of the coin. and losing that something can help u see a clearer picture of the situation u are in, or put u in a better position to be a better person and move on in life. it's a matter of choice, whichever side of the coin u are looking at now.

life is actually all about uncertainties... u'll never know what will happen to u tmr, next month, next year, or even 10 years down the road. so all we can do is to treasure the moment and live with no regrets. don't wait till u see this person 3 years later and regret not telling him or her that something u wanted to say to him or her all along... don't let yourself be bugged with all the 'i should have... ' in future... be a little braver, and tell yourself to take away all the 'what ifs' in ur life, and add in more of 'even if... i will... ' that way, u can tell urself, even if u failed, at least u've tried, and that's living with no regrets to me.

it's definitely easier to say than to action on it. even i have difficulty practicing wad i preach.. but i'm trying and working on it.. that's why i'm holding on to certain things, that's why i do the things i do... it all boils down to choice. we may be uncertain about the things we want in life at times, but time is always that one thing that will help us find out more about ourselves.. be it long or short, time is the answer. sometimes, the people around u can be ur assistant in finding the answer too..

i hope, i can be that assistant in ur life, to find out what u really want.


你很愛他

當你決定　你要離開我　
我沒有說什麼　就當作你自由

有好幾次我都想挽留　
苦求也沒有用　就當作是寂寞

只有我能明白　他的溫柔　
對你是種解脫
只想要告訴我　誰是你的最愛

其實你很愛他　對我的懲罰　
說你沒有想他　是可憐我吧
我已沒有藉口　只能放手　
不能奢求　你說愛我

其實你很愛他　他很溫柔嗎　
其實你很想他　就說出口吧
我已不想多說　嗚住耳朵　
不想再次聽到你說　你很愛他