i've been taking it easy so far... trying to lead the life i used to live before everything happened. and i realized, my life was so so lonely and depressing.. even in the past.

the routine of waking up to an empty house, watch drama, listen to music, write music, sleep. that was how i lived before i met him. and now, things are back as it is, except, my body is not cooperating well with me.

i haven't been eating well, and when i eat, my body rejects them all. i really dun wanna fall sick.. i wanna be healthy, so i can be there for him when he needs me to keep him company or to take care of him, or just to stand by him and support him.

whenever i'm overseas, i feel even more depressed. the loneliness seems to magnify with the distance away from home. cos when i'm overseas, nobody texts me, nobody chat w me, nobody to keep me company.. when i'm singapore, it's the same case, except, i can still go to the place where i know i'll find familiar faces and company..

more often than not, i'll find trails of tears by my eyes when i wake up.. i dunno if it's something or someone i dream of every night, but there's just something that triggers my tear glands every time i fall asleep alone at night. and when i wake up to an empty room, empty house, to a phone with no msges but a load of junk mail.. however bright and sunny it may be, my mood will still be down.

but, i know the sun will still rise and set.. and nobody will care if i fall ill or die.. so i'll definitely brace myself. for the sake of the people around me, the people that i care about, the people that i love the most, i'll keep myself alive and kicking, so i can protect my loved ones, and be there for my loved ones when they need me.. i'll stand tall, so my loved ones can depend on me when they have to, i'll be strong, so my loved ones can seek comfort in me when they need to...

so jovi, for the sake of the one u love, be strong.